to seek forgiveness
  easier than permission.
mom sighs,
  then with a smile:
"as long as you've got 
  this damned thing,
    let's go for a ride"

                birth of nedod,
                  already a rep.
                deny my true nature,
                  or grin and bear it?

trigger for passion
  from out on the fringe.
she likes me for the bike
  or maybe despite it;
i never really know
  perhaps she never decides.

                if i were to be hurt,
                  would i regret
                the time in the saddle
                  pushing the edge?
                no, i decide,
                  i am who i am
                and i must ride.

look right, lean, roll -
  down hard on my side
jeep conflicts with my place
  in space and time
moment of calm
  then a crunch.
leg all akimbo
  but hey
free helicopter ride!

                a dream remembered,
                  past futures now present.
                nurses and orderlies,
                  doctors and hourlies,
                they say it will work again
                  but no one knows when.

she objects,
  doesn't understand;
ride again,
  was that what i planned?

                dopey walk
                  a ready reminder
                ever present
                  easily forgotten
                it only hinders
                  if i let it.

distance grows,
  an alienation.
the knell sounds first,
  a new start with the end.

                nedod knows,
                  is hardly surprised
                when i am re-biked.
                  what took you so long,
                we're glad you're back
                  well, mostly.

    a dream remembered
      past futures now present;
    deny my true nature
      or grin and bear it?
    i am who i am
      and i must ride.